


alive

by simplecaelum



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Based on Fan Art, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Boys Kissing, Castle of Lions - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Gaytron - Freeform, Kissing, M/M, Mention of Keith, Protective Lance (Voltron), Scars, Sharing a Bed, shance, shangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15783996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplecaelum/pseuds/simplecaelum
Summary: Besides their friendship, they didn’t really have much more of a relationship as far as the team was aware, but this wasn’t the first time Lance had found Shiro out and about late at night...."Lance?"...“You’re right here with me, it’s okay. I’m right here.”





	alive

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Some stuff for shance week 2016! - 5th Photo](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/409209) by rachelhuey88. 



The room was too dark. Too quiet. Too empty.

Sitting up in bed, he realized he was breathing heavily. His eyes darted around the room in panic, trying to find something to focus on, but there was nothing but darkness.

He wasn’t sure if he had just woken up. Had he even fallen asleep to begin with? How long had it been?

He had to get out. He couldn’t stay here. His hand gripped the sheets, a small reminder of where he was. Of where he wasn’t. The comforting feeling faded too soon, his mind deceiving him.

It’s not real. You need to get out.

He stumbled out of bed, tripping over his own feet, desperate to get to the light. His panic spiked once again when he couldn’t find it immediately.

Keep searching. It has to be there. Don’t give up. Not yet.

Finally his fingers found the button that triggered the lights, and he had to stop himself from crying in relief. He turned, throwing his back against the wall and observing the room. His eyes stung from the sudden bright lights, but it was a pain he was happy to have.

Everything looked the same from when he had turned off the lights. Bed. Bathroom door. Clean.

He felt his breathing slowly return to normal. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, staring at the room, convincing himself it was real.

Even if it was real, it was too quiet. Too empty.

...

Lance sat up, rubbing his eyes before yawning. His sleep schedule was a disaster since entering space. The castle had day and night cycles, but he still hadn’t adjusted to them, and he was almost certain the cycles were shorter than that of Earth’s. He sat up in bed, stretching his arms out above his head. Sometimes there's a feeling that just says ‘you aren’t going back to sleep anytime soon.’ He groaned and decided to get a glass of water, that usually helped, along with getting out of his room.

Without even turning his light on, Lance slipped on his robe and blue lion slippers. Underneath he only wore blue boxer briefs, but he didn’t think too much about it, not expecting to run into anyone at this hour. He stepped out into the hall, careful not to make noise.

Walking through the castle halls at night had become almost second nature to him. At first, he was terrified he would run into someone, but over time it set in that there was no one else on the ship but the team. In a way, it was comforting, but it also made him feel alone.

Lance had made it about halfway to the kitchen when he heard the distant sound of fighting. He immediately ran towards it, completely forgetting he wasn’t wearing his normal paladin armor.

As he drew closer, he came upon the training deck and he slowed his pace. Who could be up at this hour? 

The light from the training deck was the only one on, save for the dim lights on the ceiling. The door wasn’t completely shut, which explained why Lance had heard anything at all, since the training deck was supposed to be soundproof.

He started to open the door a little more, but decided to knock a few times as to give whoever it was a heads up he was coming in.

A moment passed and then he heard, “End training sequence.”

Lance pushed the door open and ventured inside. “Shiro, what are you-” Lance’s words caught in his throat at what he saw.

“Shiro, how long have you been up?” Lance started again, his voice softer this time.

Shiro was wearing only shoes and sweatpants, and he was… almost glistening. His hair was wet as if he had just gotten out of the shower, but Lance knew that wasn’t the case. His torso, and probably his back too, was littered with scars, not unlike the one across the bridge of his nose.

“An hour,” Shiro replied between breaths. His eyes were avoiding Lance’s and Lance felt his heart swell up in pain.

Lance stared at him for a moment, letting the situation sink in. Shiro had apparently kept his condition a secret from the rest of the team, or at the very least Lance. The Galra must have given him those scars, unless he got them on Earth, which wasn’t likely. Lance had never thought about what Shiro had gone through, exactly, though he knew it must have been a lot.

The thought of Shiro enduring that pain… getting all of those scars… He had gone through so much.

He wasn’t about to leave Shiro here to keep fighting, nor did he trust the black paladin to go back to sleep if ordered to. Could Lance even order him to do anything?

“Come on,” he said, holding his hand out. Shiro glanced his way, and after a few moments started forward towards Lance.

Shiro took Lance’s hand with his human one, and let Lance interlock their fingers and pull him out of the room. He kicked the door shut behind him, knowing the automatic lights would turn off soon.

Lance walked them back to his room, staying silent and listening to the echo of their footsteps. They made the turn towards Lance’s room and away from Shiro’s, and Lance was glad when Shiro didn’t object.

When they finally arrived back at Lance’s room, Lance pulled him inside after he leaned in and turned the lights on.

“Go take a shower,” he instructed as he started to let go of Shiro’s hand. Shiro quickly grasped tighter as Lance looked up to meet his panicked expression.

“Stay,” he whispered, more of a plea than a request.

Lance smiled softly and nodded, letting Shiro guide them towards the bathroom.

A light blush settled over the blue paladin’s cheeks and he stopped just short of the bathroom’s threshold. “I’ll wait here until you get in, okay? I won't go anywhere. Promise,” he insisted, adding the promise when he saw Shiro’s still panicking eyes.

Shiro nodded, hesitantly agreeing. Their hands separated and Shiro disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Lance forced himself not to think about Shiro getting undressed on the other side of the door, instead choosing to focus on their relationship, which to some wouldn’t exactly be considered a better train of thought. 

Besides their friendship, they didn’t really have much more of a relationship as far as the team was aware, but this wasn’t the first time Lance had found Shiro out and about late at night. It had happened twice before.

The first time, Shiro was on the main deck, staring out into space. Lance had accidently startled him then, unaware he was even there. Shiro ended up falling asleep on Lance’s shoulder that night after Lance had joined him.

The second time, Shiro had been aimlessly wandering around the halls, almost searching for something. Lance wasn’t sure Shiro even knew what he was looking for, if anything at all. Lance took Shiro back to his own room, and Shiro had kissed him on the cheek goodnight. He wasn’t sure what had prompted Shiro to kiss him, but it had all but been forgotten the next morning. 

The thought of the kiss brought back the red to his cheeks. Shiro’s lips had been so soft against his skin. So hesitant. 

“Lance?”

Said boy opened the door carefully. He peaked in to make sure Shiro was in the shower before slipping in, careful to not look around the wall where the black paladin was.

“I’m here,” Lance replied. He leaned against the wall, knowing it wouldn’t take Shiro long to shower. He considered asking Shiro about the kiss, knowing he could never do it face to face, but by the time he got up the courage Shiro sounded like he was wrapping up. The wall beeped to his right as it opened up, and he saw Shiro’s pants clean and folded neatly. The castle was pretty awesome sometimes, Lance thought.

The water shut off and Lance heard the familiar sound of the dryers. Alteans had towels, but the dryers were faster.

Shiro reached out and grabbed his pants and pulled them on before stepping around the wall that seperated the shower. His floof, as Lance had dubbed it, was a mess from the dryers, and Lance didn’t have the heart to tell him.

Taking a small step forward, Lance took Shiro’s hand once again. Their eyes locked, and he wasn’t sure what had prompted him to come closer. He had no idea what was going on in Shiro’s head. He wanted to help with whatever was going on, but he wasn’t sure what to do.

Before he knew it, Shiro had closed the distance and leaned down to capture his lips in a kiss. Lance felt his heart skipped a beat, and he barely had time to react before Shiro pulled away.

“I’m s-”

“Don’t,” Lance cut off. He pushed up on his toes, opening his eyes just wide enough to make sure he could find Shiro’s lips once more. When had his eyes closed? Every reaction his body had to Shiro’s seemed to happen without his knowledge or consent.

As he felt Shiro’s arms wrap around his waist, he found himself caring less and less.

Shiro’s skin felt hot underneath his fingertips, and he trailed them up to see if Shiro’s hair was always as soft as he thought it was.

Lance was stopped just short, as Shiro pulled back, leaving his arms around the smaller man.

“You should get to bed,” Shiro suggested, his voice barely higher than a whisper.

Lance opened his eyes and looked at him, one eyebrow raised.

“So should you,” he retorted, causing the black paladin to look away, almost sadly. Lance sighed and stepped out of Shiro’s embrace, even though it pained him to do so.

“Stay here tonight.”

Shiro opened his mouth to respond, but Lance cut him off.

“That’s not a suggestion,” he added.

Shiro shut his mouth and nodded.

As they made their way back into the bedroom, Lance took off his slippers and robe, leaving them by the door. “I can put a tank top on, if you want,” Lance offered.

Shiro was already sitting on the bed, looking anywhere but at Lance. “Whichever makes you more comfortable.” 

Not long after, they were both piled in Lance’s bed, Shiro closest to the wall so he couldn’t get up without waking Lance first. Lance had tried to keep his distance and give Shiro room, but with the small bed, there was hardly any space between them. He had ultimately given up when Shiro wrapped an arm around him and pulled his bare back flush against his chest. Lance blushed darkly and was glad the lights were already off.

That alone had made Shiro uneasy, and Lance had to promise he wasn’t going anywhere and would be beside Shiro in an instant after the lights went off. The black paladin had barely nodded in response.

Lance couldn’t begin to imagine what Shiro had gone through while being held prisoner. 

Shiro was the best there was at the Galaxy Garrison. He the team’s rock, their foundation, the Black Paladin. No one was stronger than him. He was Lance’s hero.

But then, Lance supposed, even heroes have breaking points.

The thought made Lance press back into the man holding him, trying to pull himself out of the thought spiral.

A small squeeze around his midsection confirmed that Shiro was still awake, as well.

A few moments slipped away before Lance got up the courage to turn and face Shiro. He twisted in place, so as not to disrupt the arms around him.

“Does anyone else know? About you not sleeping?” Lance asked, keeping his voice low.

Shiro shook his head in the dark. “Keith knows it’s a problem, but not the… extent. Everyone has their own problems to deal with. I’m the leader, there to support them, not add to their troubles.”

“You can still be a great leader while getting help,” Lance whispered, glancing up at him. “If you want to keep being the leader, you have to take care of yourself too. What are we supposed to do if you’re out of service, huh?” He cracked a small smile and poked Shiro’s chest, his palm resting on his bare chest afterwards.

Shiro noticeably stiffened and remained silent, staring off into the darkness.

“Shiro…?” Lance asked, noticing the change.

When he got no response, he connected their lips, wanting to pull Shiro out of his thoughts, bring him back to reality. Shiro slowly kissed him back, but that wasn’t good enough for Lance.

“You’re right here with me, it’s okay. I’m right here.”

Lance brought Shiro’s left hand to his face, letting it rest on his cheek as he held it firmly in place. He didn’t move or speak for what seemed like minutes, but couldn’t have been more than one.

Softly, Lance started humming a lullaby he remembered from when he was a baby. The words had long since faded from his memory, but the melody always stuck with him. Not long after, Shiro whispered his name.

He stopped humming, waiting for whatever else Shiro was going to say.

“Can you turn on the lights?”

Lance nodded, pulling Shiro’s hand away from his face. He promised to be right back before he climbed out of the bed and quickly moved to switch on the lights. Turning back to Shiro, he noticed him sitting up on the bed. The lights reflected off the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“How can you care for me?” Shiro whispered, his gaze never leaving the floor.

Taken off guard, Lance recoiled slightly. “What do you mean? You’re amazing. You’re Officer Shirogane, pilot of the Kerberos mission, the Black Paladin and leader of Voltron. You’re incredibly strong, in more ways than one. You’re caring, compassionate, not to mention gorgeous.” Oh god, he was rambling. “You were my hero back at the Garrison. You still are.”

He climbed back on the bed beside Shiro, who was studying his mechanical arm. “Some hero,” he muttered.

Lance’s stomach turned. He rested a hand on the Galran technology, pushing it down gently so Shiro would stop looking at it.

“You’re the best hero. You’re strong, and you’re there for people when they need you. You’re real. It doesn’t matter if they took your arm, you’re still you, Shiro.”

Shiro remained silent and Lance moved his hand across Shiro’s chest to rest over his heart. “Scars… They don’t define us. They’re proof that we’re alive. Proof that we’ve endured suffering, and now we’re stronger because of it.”

He had rested his head against Shiro’s back, holding him as close as he possibly could. He felt Shiro’s hand rest on top of his own, holding it there.

They were silent of a few seconds as Lance felt Shiro’s heartbeat against his palm. He hoped Shiro could feel it, too.

Shiro was the first one to break the silence. “Let’s go to bed, Lance.”

The Blue Paladin nodded and sat up, making himself drag his hand away.

Shiro turned and pulled him close as he laid down on the bed again. His Galran hand wrapped around Lance’s waist, trapped under his body. At least it couldn’t fall asleep. His human hand pulled Lance up into a kiss as he tried to express all his gratitude through the kiss. Lance kissed back happily, as if to say: Anytime.

It wasn’t long after that they fell asleep in each other’s arms, the lights still on.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on IG: @simplecaelum
> 
> Also: Shiro was implied to have a flashback whenever he freezes up at the end, if that wasn't clear.
> 
> Please leave comments! All feedback is welcomed! <3


End file.
